DUBLIN. The international meteorological community
was under a cloud of confusion this morning as they attempted to explain a mass
of ecological phenomena which occurred across the globe at exactly the same
time.
Met
Eireann spokesman Michael Winterbottom explains, “At around 6.00am (GMT) this
morning we begun getting reports from across Ireland about strange weather. Accounts then started coming in from across
Europe, then all over the world”. The
reports, he said, consisted mostly of incredibly strong gusts of wind, almost
storm force, “But when we looked at our satellite imaging the weather fronts
seemed clear. Thermal imaging however
showed massive pockets of warm air rushing in, mostly over densely populated
areas”.
Similar
weather patterns were reported across the globe, with parts of the United
States particularly badly affected. In
the wake of Hurricane Sandy New Yorkers found themselves once again battered by
strong winds. This time round however
the assault was mercifully short.
“That’s probably the strangest part”, Mr. Winterbottom told us, “There
was no build up. This weather didn’t gather, it was just suddenly there.
And then just as quickly it dissipated.
It’s almost as if the entire world let out a massive sigh of relief. We’ve no explanation for it, but we’re
calling it the Mitt Romney effect”.
